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Living With Terminal Stockholm Syndrome: A Chronicle
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28th-Oct-2013 09:29 am(no subject)
lollipop

Some fucker on my fb changed his profile pic to Lou Reed and David Bowie and just wrote RIP for his status and I don't think he ever listened to Lou reed in his life but he always says he is a massive Bowie fan (even though he only knows ziggy stardust but whatever) so obvs jump to conclusions and I had a massive panic attack last night and had to go and sit out in the rain cos I couldn't breathe and needed infinity of air

Then Lindsay was hanging out the window like wtf are you doing howling at the sky and I was trying to explain but words weren't working properly and it took like 20 mins and he was just like o.O that's actually not what happened you know so ffs blow your nose

So yeah still gutted Lou Reed died but at the same time finding out David Bowies not dead when I thought he was is pretty much the best thing that's ever happened in my whole life

In conclusion FUCK FACEBOOK and fuck people saying RIP to look all ~cool~ when they actually don't know or care whose died

Now I'm going to lie on the floor all day in the dark and listen to every Bowie album in order even the shit ones after I delete that twat off my fb and order a hit on him for a bonus

pen tash!!!
poor dr brown needed a dr this week but he is well too stubborn, i dont think he would go to a dr even if he got both his legs bit off by a dragon. i tried telling him you shouldnt eat cheap kebabs if you aint use to it, its like you dont drink the water abroad innit, but when someones chucking up that hard there whole digestive systems hanging out there mouth inside out it prob aint the best time to lecture them on there diet ;) hahaha poor baby. i tell you what though he lost like 10 stones, i am well going that kebab van asap so come with if you want a detox buddy

nothing much else, tbh lifes on hold while i make all the baby clothes ever for the two cutest little dolly babies what ever lived *_____* rebeccas saying do a baby line since i am making all this stuff anyway but idk, like i aint got enough on?! i am still in recovery from fashion week what finished on the 17th, so fuckin tired i feel like i need to sellotape my eyelashes to my forehead else i will just fall asleep for like a year. i feel like this aint realy working you know?? like yeah i get to chill a bit sometimes and i dont have to do all the boring shit i pay other people to do now but theres still a LOT i have to do and idk this is just the first time i aint been that into it. i dont mind beign stressed out if i feel like i am doing something worth while but just this year its been meh. i mean i still get rave reviews cos i am a genius obvs :P just idk i feel like dr frankenstein creating this insane fuckin monster, rebeccas running everything so good why do i even need to be there at all, i feel like she is my boss sometimes hassling me to get a move on and ring this person and be in this place for an interview and i cba

haha i know, stfu princess, everybodys got to work, least you aint on the tills in aldi, wah wah wah, but basicaly if your richer than god and your doing a job you aint having fun with no more your an idiot. something to think about hey. idk what i would do instead though, i aint no good at anything else except hairdressing and blowjobs which probably aint the best career choices at this point in my life......
31st-Aug-2013 09:11 pm - X FACTORRRRRR
knees up
jfc gary barlow is so fit i cant even walk straight, i am goign to be in actual pain every saturday til christmas now D: i love him so much omg remember when he came in my shop I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET EVEN IF I LIVE TO 300, IF I NEEDED A PATRONUS THAT WOULD BE MY MEMORY
25th-Aug-2013 10:36 pm(no subject)
haha Lindsay :D
god i need to post more!! actualy i need to start DOING STUFF then i got stuff to post ABOUT cos basicaly these days i just roll about at home in my pants playing mario, sometimes i do a bit of work for like 3 hours max then its back to nintendo. i got this genius set up now where i got 5 tellys in one of my rooms hooked up to in order a nes, snes, 64, gamecube and wii so i dont even have to go to all the troube of swapping the wires over \o/ then on the other side of the room i got another telly but thats for master system, mega drive, playstations 1 2 3, xbox/kinect but i have to keep swapping them wires round cos Lindsays like you can fuck right off if you think your having 12 tellys in 1 room and while we're on the subject you can get rid of 5 of the 6 you already got in there, but compromising on the 6 now i think since he has got like four billion books he wont ever get round to reading, at least i USE my things. anyway you cant have a single telly whats right for every console, they got different specs like you cant play nes on some fuckin massive modern telly so the pixels are all like an inch across each not unless you want a migraine and you cant play xbox on some shitty little telly from 1991. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS MEEEEEE!!

it was Lindsays birthday the other week, he is like 54 now or something but gettign tastier with age like an old cheese :P since we been spending so much time having romantic picnics on the riverbank in sweltering 10000000000 degree heat lately i thought we could go one further so i got him A BOAT, she is a proper beauty too

her names ophelia so i can make endless hilarious clever jokes about Lindsay being in her :PCollapse )

swoooon!! i mean ok she aint a speedboat or a yacht or nothing but for a pair of lazy country gents she aint that bad :D them twerps in barges look dead smug though chugging past drinking tea at little fold up tables on deck while we sweat like paedos trying to row out the way lmfao

rebecca won that businesswoman of the year award thing :) which i aint even going to make jokes or nothing cos she well deserves it, i would of gone bankrupt and ended up in a nuthouse without her keeping everything straight and basicaly runnign the company for me so i dont have to use my peanut size brain on shit i cant do, she is magic and i love her loads <3 plus she had to let me give her another proper makeover before the ceremony so at least she dont look like miss trunchbull no more. well NOW she does cos she says she aint spending hours making her hair nice every morning and cleansing toning moisturising like A NORMAL PERSON FFS WOMAN so yeah back to criminal flat shoes and flat hair but at least it aint grey no more its a nice kind of chestnut brown and she looks 20 yrs younger so SUCCESS no matter how fuckin much she seems determined to make me fail. i might start going to london once a week for random checks like you get random drug tests and make sure she aint wearing shitty bon marche blouses where people can see her, i might make a rule people working for me have to wear my clothes OR ELSE
5th-Aug-2013 12:19 am(no subject)
haha Lindsay :D
omg how fuckin hot is it, I AM DYING. its been raining today and you think that would help but oh no its just like the whole worlds a realy gross sauna, idk how its possible to sweat this much and still be alive. we had moose shaped company the other day so that was nice even though it meant actualy wearing shorts to swim in :P back to frolicking around in the buff since then but only outside, i tried to have a naked day in the house but you just leave arse sweat prints everywhere lmfao. i think we need an emergency holiday before Lindsay starts work again, TO SIBERIA. well ok maybe not siberia, prob shouldnt go anywhere near russia atm -_- but like iceland or something or svalbard where the armoured bears live cos right now i would give my whole fortune and his as well just to get ONE LUNG FULL of air whats actualy less than 25 degrees. fml i am so miserable rn its killing me ;______;

oh well it aint all doom and gloom, rebeccas got nominated for ANOTHER business woman of the year award for making me stinking rich so basically i been laughing myself sick for a week plus trying to come up with something she can wear what dont make her look like a bus wrapped in binbags (i love her realy, she is actualy amazing <3 she best invite me as her +1 or else and she best win cos some olympics cow won last time and that aint on) and malcolm "christ on a bendy bus son, dont be such a fuckin faff arse" tucker is new dr who so all things considered life could be worse \m/
14th-Jul-2013 09:02 pm(no subject)
lollipop
so many birthdays lately, i been running round in circles bringing nice things to all my girls xxxx i love love LOVE only sewing stuff i want now, no sittign up all hours of the night bawling over deadlines and shit, i got minions now to do it for me, i just do vips and new stuff and i cant even remember last time i got all stressed out like i use to. i am so lucky i know *____* i mean i dont mind grafting like a machine, when i was in school and college i had like 2 or 3 jobs on the go at any one time, but its different just like working on a till instead of gettign panic attacks cos everyone in your industrys a fuckin vapid moron with no opinion or with too much opinion

i spent like 5 hours howling earlier cos finn from glee died :( and Lindsay was being all like "....." like its nice he actualy made the efort to understand i werent joking about and didnt need him being a prick about it and he was being quite nice and sensitive at first but then after a bit i think he felt like ok enough now and i werent done being upset yet so me and horse went out then we come back and its ok now. well it aint ok but you know. its so sad like sad cos its always sad when people die young for stupid reasons but sad too cos 4 seasons worth of getting attached to fictional characters its like there actualy real. please dont take the piss, i am genuinly cut up over it :/

blah anyway. what else. i had to go to london the other day for a skype meeting with vogue paris cos they know i cba flying places no more just for bullshit boring meetings and interviews and shit, after it finished i rung up and told my girls to shut the shop early and took them and rebecca for a picnic in the park, i actualy hand crafted them sandwiches myself but nobody was that into them i dont think which i cant understand. who dont like peperami sandwiches??!!! so we ended up in arbutus instead cos rebecca wont shut up about the sea bass which ok was actualy realy nice but then there was a bit of drama cos some rude fucker near us kept sighing dead loud and giving us evils so i was like is there a problem i can help you with mate and he just stares at us like he wanted us dead?! i still dont know what his problem was, i spose 6 people in head to toe valentines finest is a bit much for someone who thinks its ok to tuck his tie in his waist band and his napkin into his collar. what a twat!! oh god i am turning into a restaurant snob, Lindsays a bad influence on me. seriosuly though they let anyone in places these days, wtf.

its his birthday soon, idk what to doooooooooooooooo
17th-Jun-2013 08:46 pm(no subject)
haha Lindsay :D
Lindsays off for the summer now :) so that plus hannibal obsession means meals chez nous are pretty amazing right now, omfg *_* i might try and talk him into doing some kind of dinner party (animals not people, although tbh whose gonna notice if a bunch of students dissappeared til next term anyway :P) seems a shame not to if we got time and nice weather and all this space. too bad we aint got a pool here like in france!! i swim in the river though, its mostly private cos rowers dont normaly come this far down. proper freezing even when its sunny but you dont notice after a bit, anyway its nice when you drag yourself out all blue and teeth chattering and your nads like marbles than lay on the grass in the sun for ages *_* i love it here, sometimes i dont even miss london. sorry i aint been round much!!!! i never got much to say anyway, lifes amazing but probs well boring from the outside, all i do is roll about the house drawing and sewing and Horse takes up most my spare time anyway. he is such a supermodel, i turned into one of them sappy starry eyed twerps what gaze at frolicking horses with faces like ;_; but he is just so beautiful. i started getting beginners lessons to make him dance lmao but it was all that poncy shit and the woman gave me dagger glare when i said cant you teach him macarena so that didnt last long, mostly we just run around pretending we are a centaur. i had a proper nob accident the other week D: idek what i did but i banged weird off the saddle when i was getting down, good thing i am the girl in our non marriage aint it cos my little man swelled up like crazy and not in the nice way -_- serves me right for wearing a dress to ride in i spose but i just wanted to be a disney princess for a bit haha

anyway yeah thats my life these days, some kind of princess/centaur/mermaid hybrid with a fit bf who makes filet steak out of posh clever kids (maybe)

its dead nice havign him round so much :) it gets well boring when he has to go to proper work like some pleb
19th-May-2013 05:05 pm(no subject)
lollipop
eurovision lmao, will it ever get old?? IT WILL NOT. feeling a bit tender today tbh but i got greasy fry up at the caff near princess when we rolled out about half 5 am then slept a bit and drunk 2 beroccas and now working through fry number 2 so everythings going to be ok. properly gutted jedward werent there, they improve eurovision x100000 but ireland was still good so idk how they come last, topless irish boys in leather trousers playing drums, what went wrong?!?! azerbaijan too hahahahah i always thought they were dead backwards cos aint they next door to them mad bastards in iran but then they done the gayest song in 2008



and the gayest song last night



so lets go and party in azerbaijan guys cos it looks amazing

uughh i have to go and eat an apple or something, my hearts going to stop -_-
17th-May-2013 10:08 pm - omg
haha Lindsay :D
omfg how longs it been since i posted, i suck at life!! i did try yesterday but lj was being a little bitch and wouldnt load so i played mariokart instead, now i cant actualy remember anything what i meant to say -_- nothings happenning realy, just work but honestly its like i dont even matter no more, rebeccas got the place running that smooth i litrally aint got a thing to do exept actualy draw new stuff, make one offs for vips, and sometimes do interviews. which yeah thats what i wanted when i decided to step back away from it all but tbh i am a bit bored now. oh well shouldnt complain realy, its better tahn working 16 hour shifts down a coal mine or something and its going to be nice having all the spare time when Lindsays off for the summer :) if summer ever actualy decides to appear i mean, it fuckin snowed the other day!!!! wtf!!

whose got plans for eurovision???

*tumbleweeds*

seriously though your all miserable bastards if you dont like eurovision, its the highlight of my year i mean even more than christmas :P so shout if you want adding on the guestlist for princess tommorrow, its playing on the big screen again then eurovision disco til about 5am. you dont have to drag up if you dont want but theres prizes so you well should :P bonus points for eurovision theme, points taken off if its abba cos thats just lazy.
29th-Mar-2013 10:05 pm - swoooon
bum bum
Lindsay was away last weekend with the boys (lmao THE BOYS like they aint a pair of miserable middle aged retards he could do so much better than) so that was rubbish for a bit cos i still aint totaly ok with him even leaving the house to go to the shop without me never mind go off to a whole different country. then i remembered when he goes away i can drink daiquiris at 8am if i want and not get an eyebrow raised at me so it werent so bad realy :P plus june come round to keep me company and brought me late bday pressies (troy bolton tshirt and channing tatum necklace WIN and a pony to keep horse company), we done snowball fights and played nintendo and just sat up late talking about whatever stuff needed saying so it was cool and i think over due, its good shits back to normal now more or less :) dead weird and quiet when she went though, i dont like beign on my own ever since i took that pic of the ghost in our bedroom window if anyone remembers that DDDDDDD: and this house is the middle of FUCKING NOWHERE which you would THINK there wouldnt be that many sounds of people walking around and whispering when your nowhere near any other people but oh no it sounded like there was some kind of conference goign outside the house and in all the other rooms. i nearly went and slept in the stable with horse just for company D: and lovecattt werent no help the little fucker, he hid under my bed for HOURS then when i finaly stopped shitting myself and fell asleep my hand must of dropped over the side of the bed cos that little bastard went for me and made me scream like a kettle. UGH UGH UGH so glad when Lindsay come back <3

nothing much else is happening. i seen gi joe with vic and it was as amazing as i expected (ie total shit but UNF so many muscle guys in vests!!!!) def seeing that again *_* i am well busy with work and them student films and everything but i am giving myself a proper break over easter cos i aint had one in ages so NO WORK til after the weekend, just chocolate. so much chocolate omg, why do i do this to myself D:
lollipop
aside from goign shopping with dajve dressed like joaqin phoenix from i'm still here (best film ever lmao but i look like a paedo with that beard so good job we never tryed to go in hamleys or whatever) and working on costumes for them student films and looking after horse and jumping my fitter than channing tatum boyfriend nothing much is happening

except NEW DAVID BOWIE

WHERE HE SINGS A SONG ABOUT VALENTINE

and NEW HAWKSLEY WORKMAN

WHERE HE SINGS ABOUT WEARING A DRESS AND GARTERS

seriosuly i am in a permanent state of needign to breathe in a paper bag right now ldjfhalskdjfhdfgf AND THEN tilda swinton went and said this http://www.vam.ac.uk/b/blog/va-network/tilda-swintons-dinner-speech-opening-david-bowie and my heart jumped right out my chest and rolled round in agony on the floor

jfc these people how do they even exist ;_; its killing me. turn my ashes into a diamond please when i die or put them in a firework, make sure you play disco inferno as the coffins taken off for burning too

anyway aside from my oncoming death hows everyone else???? your lucky your all in london you bastards, we got snow forcast here at the weekend AGAIN so i think the plan is just build a fire and sit in front of it all day saturday, idk why i ever thought snow was fun :( poor horse dont like it much and i cant blame him realy, its bad enough walking though snow already in boots and big welly socks, imagine doing it in NO SOCKS and METAL SHOES its pretty barbaric realy :/

i seen that oz film the other day, it was shit but the costumes were nice. bagsy dressing up like mila kunis at halloween, leather trousers and massive hat *_* next up its gi joe 3d which nobody in the world wants to come to with me which is fine actualy cos you would only complain about me drooling like a starving dog anyway
24th-Feb-2013 11:40 pm(no subject)
lollipop


so yeah thats my new horse :D i love him like a mother loves her retarded ugly bastard baby. real Horse werent that impressed, i showed him and he was like "meh" and kept turning his head away so idk if he didnt care or he was jealous or he was just that sickened by the sight of this medical monstrosity he couldnt bare to look at him no more. poor baby <3 i screen printed a ton of tshirts with his pic on :D but rebecca was like your not selling that bullshit so i told her stfu cos Lindsay made that and she went quiet and looked a bit upset cos i think she thinks Lindsays a good calming influence on me or whatever (lmfao) then he goes and does somethign like this and shatters her hopes for the future. seriously though i love this fuckin stupid thing to death XD he sleeps next to my bed with mr bollo and they both come places with me in my bag like good luck charms. they seem to be working too, fashion week was ace even though some of the reviews made me go wtf a bit, i mean i dont give a shit if some nobody journo dont like my show cos who the fuck are they anyway and i love it when they get like "i dont even know what happened there or if i like it or not" but seriosly nicola from girls aloud thinks we are bffs now or somethign? i met her like ONE TIME. she looks weird now she got her teeth fixed and she freaks me out, she looks like a ginger bee gee. gtfo nicola i dont know you. she kept tryign to talk to me after my show though so that was pretty cool :P anyway yeah so fashion week mania and everythings gone mental busy again now so going to bury my head in the sand for a while. its dead funny how people want to hang out with you more if you start avoiding them like you get cool points or somethign for getitng your pic in the papers with someone who aint at every party ever like spotting some rare exotic animal (i am roly poly bird from roald dahl). i seen june so that was cool too :) also rebeccas been nominated for some kind of business woman award thing which is making me lol til i cry, she hates award ceremonies. idk she might like it if the awards about ~*~real~*~ acheivments not just stupid ones like i get.

tess says cos its my birthday next weekend i can headline the cabaret if i want :P so idk maybe it depends if Lindsays got something amazing planned or not and if i can think up something good not the same thing i always do but it still has to make rebecca angry cos thats my greatest joy in life. i done this comedy glam rock gypsy rose lee thing a couple of times years ago when i first started doing the shows when i was like 18 but not sure how happy he would be if i done that again :P plus i am this old decrepid hag now, i look more maggie smith tahn natalie wood so they wouldnt be able to turn the lights up very high hahahahah. 25 seriously!!! i might as well be 90 omg

oscars tonight but i cant be arsed staying up, i use to properly care but i am finding it harder and harder to give a shit about anything in the world rn. i want one though *_* i loved it doing costumes on dajves film, i need to figure out who i have to blow to get noticed in hollywood. i want baftas and oscars and all that shit, i want to be sandy powell when i grow up <33333 i mean i love doing what i do but you still get all them plebs whining like "but whose gonna wear that in real life" as if thats even the point, its different when its costumes
14th-Feb-2013 04:03 pm - lmao
Lindsay is shy :P
quick drive by post cos i have to finish making myself look presentable for when dr brown gets home but my piss poor attempt at a valentine pressie is making me laugh so hard i have to share



hahahahah well done self, you tried. gold star for effort you pointless cack handed infant XD

oh well its the thought that counts rght?? HAHAH nobody ever encourage me to make a croqembouche again when i can barely even make a sandwich :P my thought was what do you give the richest guy you ever known when he just BUYS the stuff he wants, answer make him somethign he likes instead. that fucking backfired didnt it, i should of bought him a nice tie pin or something!!!

lol forever, i hope everone elses vday is going better and your all naked by now :P xx
10th-Feb-2013 11:59 am - omg busy as fuck
knees up
considering i am meant to be SEMI RETIRED i got a lot of head stress atm!! i mostly blame rebecca of course, she keeps going all passive agressive on me like "well ok if you really dont want to go to tom fords cocktail party even though he personaly invited you then i can just reply and tell him your washing your hair......" STOP. STUPID WOMAN. WHY. i know partying dont count as real work i mean it aint like coal mining or whatever but still i realy cant be arsed sucking up to people no more. i use to love it gettign to hang out with famous people and bitch about everyones tits and marriage problems but that shit gets old dead quick -_- why cant i go and hang out in peoples studios instead and watch them actualy do some fuckin work, that would actualy be intresting and helpful and all inspiring and stuff not just standing round a club with a load of rich wankers on coke. so yeah i been to way too many parties lately and done some interviews and photo shoots, i had to go to edinburgh to my shop there cos some prick lobbed a brick through one of the front windows :| they didnt even nick nothing cos idk why, everyone in scotlands a backward savage what dont know how to use buttons i think, they just smashed the window and spray painted there names the outside wall so at least the police could track them down. yeah and THEN the police was like well do you wanna press charges or not and i was like WTF YES I DO WHY WOULDNT I!!! god i hate scottish people. wait who do i know whose scottish, anyone?? sorry if you are, i like the people i know, just on a whole they are absolute fuckers. fuckin scab faced little vandals i hope they get 50 years.

anyway yeah so thats my life. my diarys mostly clear for a while, fashion week starts next friday so just getting ready for the shows and i spose i have to go and put my face about a bit at everyone elses, annoying i am MORE famous now i dont want none of that shit. still aint famous famous though so cant complain. its nice when people say nice things i just dont want people taking photos of me coming out of restaurants and all that. Lindsays rubbing off on me (matron), i just want my own space now and some peace!! shouldnt whinge about rebecca realy and her team of hatchet face lesbians she hired to get shit done, she keeps everything running and i am making a FORTUNE off all this so i probably should put up with my side of it a bit more cheerfully -_- but i dont want to, i want to sit at home in front of the fire with Lindsay like the two old boring bastards we are and pretend the rest of the world aint even happening

speaking of Lindsay i dressed up like a cambridge student in shirt and tank top and hipster glasses so i wouldnt look like i dont belong and gatecrashed a couple of his lectures and omg so proud :) i mean not like i got anything to compare it with or any input i got the right to feel proud about but just that kind of omg thats my bf proud, he is a brilliant teacher. he dont take no shit off them kids but tbf there aint even any shit to take, they are all like O.O dead into it cos he makes it all sound totaly non boring. it IS pretty boring imo but he makes it SOUND good :P so yeah i aint falling all over myself to get an english lit degree now or nothign but dead glad i went to see him in action

also in action: DAJVE lmao! i got bikinus ftw posters in my shops but omfg the show makes me gag D: acorah though is an actual genius, they should do a most haunted in the jungle with felix and yvette and everyone cos it would be the funniest thing ever XD

ummm what else.

oh yeah valentines day next week :D MY DAY, i get to choose what we do, which mostly involves watching die hards 1-4 on dvd then going to die hard 5 on thursday night. this plan is amazing. i dont even care if its shit which it will be, i fuckin love them films. they need to put more grubers in them though!! hwo good the films are relate directly to whether or not theres a gruber in them AM I RIGHT?? of course i am right. alan rickman and jeremy irons ftw, they need to have a long lost brother whose played by someone old and fit (christoph waltz please and thank you) its my birthday soon as well, people keep asking me what i want so posting here so everyone can see: i dont care just hand make me soemthing :D i will love it even if its shit and looks like a retarded toddler made it
18th-Jan-2013 09:59 pm(no subject)
lollipop
how come rebecca always makes me feel like 2 inches tall? fuck that bitch, she wont have a job for long if she dont watch it :| we went for a walk in the snow in holland park so she could whinge at me away from the office (because the office is a "positive space" i mean seriousy are you kdiding me???) and i got dead bored so first i helped this little kid throw snowballs at some bully bastard and felt like a super hero but i will probably get arrested for child abuse or somethign now, oh well the little prick deserved everything he got and besides he started it and hit me right in the cheek and he properly packed the snow down as well so it was like a brick, fuckin tosser. i got a bit of a black eye now but dont tell anyone its cos some year 8 threw some weather at me. then i started a snowman but some people were watching so i started showing off and this happened



to be fair i never done the whole thing cos my hands went blue after half an hour, some girl and her bf helped. londons amazing, you get random exchange students what can just bang out a rodin on there lunch break XD i was always ok at art, i got acepted at the ruskin school in oxford after westminster but i done fashion instead cos it annoyed my dad more which yeah was a fuckin stupid reason but what would you do with a fine art degree anyway, plus i always kind of felt like they only acepted me cos of what school i went to and i only went there cos my mum and dad were twats. it made old sour bitch face laugh anyway so thats good then i staretd telling her all my wah bored idk what my life is about stuff and she says doing somethings a good idea and why not art. so i dont know maybe i will, theres a shit load of life drawing classes and stuff in cambs. its just last time i done life drawing there was this fat naked hag and you could see her tampon string and i threw up for like 6 straight months so bit wary. maybe i should just draw Lindsay instead :P pretty sure that wont be a problem with him unless he has gone properly weird sort of kinky behind my back D: the snow in london aint nearly as bad as cambridge, the whole town is fucked!! this is what it looked like first thing when i went for the train cos i dont like driving my cars in the snow



now i REALLY want a lamp post near the house :P and a pet lion

ummmm so yeah SNOW, usualy pretty exciting cos i aint used to it cos its never realy that bad in london but actualy just a pain in the arse when your tryign to get places :| specialy out here in the middle of nowhere, its cold as fuck out here. gonna build up the fire and nick Lindsays horrible cardi and watch shit telly xx
17th-Jan-2013 08:33 pm(no subject)
fruit!
someone just posted this on facebook and now i cant walk



jfc O.O *_*

its my birthday soon, i will be 25 at the start of march....... feeling pretty old which yeah i know is stupid especialy cos Lindsays like 57 or something and he is still the fittest thing on earth :P but i still feel it. dont know if i will have a party or what, maybe i should just sit around at home with pipe and slippers like an old fart and get used to it. we could go on holiday or somethign if Lindsay werent teaching, i need to check his term dates. i dont want to leave horse though and idk if any of our pansy cars could pull a horse box very far :P

might be in london tommorrow, i want to talk to rebecca about something. txt me if your free for lunch and or hard booze x

i feel like i want to DO something, i mean i do hoenstly work at home but everythings pretty quiet and tbh once i bang out some drawings or sew for a couple of hours all i mostly do is play mario and hang out with horse and lovecattt and read prison break fan fic in my pjs -_- which is fine cos rebeccas running my shit better than i ever could but idk, i might find something new to do at college part time. actualy learn french or cooking or some other thing i cant learn at home cos Lindsay talking french at me always somehow ends with our trousers across the other side of the room from our bodies
15th-Jan-2013 11:18 pm(no subject)
fruit!
IS THIS A JOKE

IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE

RYAN GOSLING KNITS

http://news.yahoo.com/ryan-gosling-reveals-perfect-day-activity-knitting-233524734.html

UUUGGGHHHHHH THE ONLY WAY HE COULD BE MORE PERFECT IS

NO

THERE IS NOTHING
14th-Jan-2013 11:47 am - BEST WEDDING EVER
possessive
and i never even had a hangover :D i didnt drunk much cos i wanted to remember everythign, its all a bit hazy by the time everyone moved to the hotel rooms though :P my first wedding dress haha i feel like its my child or something, i mean i made drag wedding dresses before but they dont count cos they was all like vegas showgirl tailfeathers and shit for the pride parade after they made civil partnerships legal. btw Lindsay still wont marry me but at least he danced with me in public to mushy love songs, its close enough :P you have to get just the right balance of whiskey in his blood stream, if he gets too much he goes all sleepy and lazy but if its just right he goes dead affectionate and dont care who sees, obvs i take advantage of this as much as possible but there aint that many occassions me and him go out drinking together so MORE WEDDINGS PLEASE, its a good excuse :D although tbh everyone might as well just give up now cos how do you beat that. the whole day was ace <3

other news, feeling a bit like D: because some rowers found a dead body in the river and turns out its that student what never come and picked up thousands of pounds worth of commissioned clothes from my shop. so i suppose i cant be pissed off at him no more since it aint realy his fault he missed the apointment -_- but still a bit grossed out. corpse juice in the river. i swim in that!!! i mean not NOW cos its snowing. the snow is crazy, its falling dead hard and properly settling and there aint nobody around to have a snowball fight with so i might go and build a snowman or something. going to hang out with Horse a bit first, he is still Horse for now since everyone took the piss when i said neville :P



although its a different kind of riding involved with this one, omfg *_*

so yeah basicaly

1) MR AND MRS MOOSE!
2) SNOW!
3) HORSE!

thats pretty much my thoughts this weekend, also NEW BOWIE ALBUM COMING UP IN MARCH AND NEW SONG ON HIS WEBSITE AND FIRST TIME BACK IN THE TOP 10 FOR LIKE 20 YEARS AND OMG CRYING that old man fucking better tour or else *_*
10th-Jan-2013 01:59 pm(no subject)
knees up
Tom fletchers wedding speech omfg, I know it's all over FB and stuff so sorry for the spam

Actually I'm not sorry

MCFLY <3333333333333333



*_* ;_; <3
8th-Jan-2013 10:53 am - What I TRYED to say before
knees up

Is Neville longbottom an amazing name for my horse

YES
5(55.6%)
Fuck no pip you suck at naming animals
4(44.4%)
8th-Jan-2013 10:39 am - Opinions
gross!!
Lj app sucks balls!!!!
4th-Jan-2013 12:12 am - omg
Lindsay is shy :P
omg so i aint posted in forever yet again but i seen people round xmas and ny so it dont matter, i kind of got better things to do atm tahn piss about online which if you somehow managed to miss out on the 100000000 fb status/tweets/instagram/texts/forcing my phone in peoples faces this is what i got for christmas



and my life is fucking complete, he is better than a lamborghini. i mean i would of preferred a unicorn but its close enough ;) he aint got a name yet cos i want to pick something right, i mean he got what name they used before i got him but they aint like dogs are they, he can learn a new name when i think of something dead good. he is just Horse for now which aint very imaginative. omg he is amazing <3 Lindsay is the BEST and always makes the pressies i get him look fucking retarded, i get horses and ferraris and rossetti originals and he has to smile and look pleased when he gets some bullshit crayola drawn comic book of our relationship to date and a hand knitted neville longbottom cardi -_- i suck so hard (literaly as well though, if you notice he aint walking quite right and i cant hardly talk its cos he got the extended week long thank you of his life lmao and pretty much demolished my larynx, i regret nothing)

so yeah thats whats going on, idk if its some scheme to make me stay in cambs more and stop comign to london all the time :P but i dont care I DONT CARE MY LIFE IS AMAZING FUCK LONDON i am going to be a country gent instead and ride round my estate on my horse all day in my sexy boots and tight trousers

and before anyone else says anything like rebecca did you can fuck off if you think its an irresponsable present and i wont look after him no more when i get bored, i aint actualy a total retard thank you very much. i mean yeah i still got shit loads i need to learn but i aint a novice, i done my horse riding badge in scouts, i know how to shovel shit and tack up and not fall off and break my face. rebeccas just jealous cos she aint got a boyfriend never mind a rich handsome one who gets her ace presents. haha actualy she might still be pissed cos i got her coal for christmas......... it was from fortnum and mason though!! (bonfire toffee whats food dyed black and covered in black powdered sugar to look like coal hahaha) and i ALSO got her diamond earings so she can shut her face. umm everyone else if you think the presents i gave suck then SORRY but if it helps it werent just you, i done everyone the same kind of sketch book full of personalised designs and whenever we are both free which is basicaly every day for me since i retired \o/ you can come round and look at fabrics and we can start making whatever you want. totaly one off, none of this is going in the shops. THANK YOU for my brill pressies too, i am spoiled rotten and everyones amazing!! <333

i feel like theres proper stuff to update about but mainly i just want to go HORSE!!!!!!! and run round in circles cos he is beautiful <3

nice seeing people on ny :D we didnt stay that long after midnight, i am trying dead hard now to be all ~considerate of Lindsays feelings~ so he dont get annoyed at me and sell my horse :P so no more bitching at him to go places he dont want to go or wear clothes what dont make him look 65 years old. also i am going to eat all my spinach forever. he is the best. i am going to write a letter to guinness world records and get him oficaly recognised as the best because he is THE BEST. um not even just cos he buys me stuff btw just cos i love him, i know i get on his nerves sometimes and yeah sometimes he gets on mine too but seriosuly me and him just have the best time ever, i love my life so much even if the bastard still wont marry me :P <3 i am hoping he gets all the mushy feels when the other love of his life gets married (SO SOON omfg *_*) and has a change of heart but pretty sure that wont happen :P

i went in to the office the other day to nosy around and meet everyone properly and haha rebecca is hilarious, she was made for this shit. i cant do meetings and boring crap and accounts and negotiations and all that rubbish it just makes me want to leap out the window but she is like some kind of fucking queen, its like "rebecca, can you take emmanuelle alt on line 2" "take a message, i'm eating a sandwich" LMAO she aint got a clue and its brilliant, she dont get star struck or treat vogue editors any better than office cleaners, i wish more people in this industry were like that tbh cos it would be so much nicer to work in it :P i said do what you want and make the place however you think its going to work best cos i wont be in it so i dont care and lmao it looks like a proper office, its hilarious. i mean its quite small still, its one floor with a mezzanine thing in a big office block, but it looks all professional, it makes me laugh so hard. its got "PHILIP VALENTINE" on the door and the business cards and everything cos its the name of the company but its so not anything like me hahaha, i need to get in there and start swapping them nice chrome light fittings for lava lamps or something cos if i ever have to go in for meetings or something there going to expect someone like Lindsay then get me instead with my stupid pointy face and pointy boots and nails with paint on. HAHA maybe i can get Lindsay to go in for me and pretend he is me. seriosly though i am so much happier now i dont have to do a proper job, it was making me so miserable doing all that admin wank as well. i just want to paint nice watercolours and sew nice fabrics. i feel ok about it all finally. i wanted to do it all on my own cos i was sick of people makign me feel like i only ever got successful cos i have a rich bf and everyones only intrested in me because of the lottery and kidnap shit not cos i am actualy half talented at something but you know what, fuck them. i tried it, i cant do it, now i am going to delegate and stick with what dont make me want to kill myself and if that aint good enough for people then oh well, please excuse me while i cry into my self made fortune. i am actualy busy even though it dont always look like it, i keep proper regular work hours...... i just do it in my pjs sometimes now and it aint for 16 hours in a row living off red bull and pro plus and i actualy get to see Lindsay for more than 5 minutes a day. giving up all the shit and putting rebecca in charge is the smartest thing i ever did (not that theres much competition i know), i just hope she dont have a massive breakdown too cos then i am SCREWED!!
23rd-Dec-2012 09:51 pm(no subject)
knees up
i aint posted in forever again!! too busy actualy hanging out with people irl so i cant be arsed updating when i been seeing everyone anyway :D <3 spent way too much time with my face near sashas boobs and arse sorting dress adjustments, some people would of took advantage and farted on me (KATHERINE JENKINS did, stinky bitch, and she tryed to blame her assistant too) but everything was ok :P i didnt do none of that surfing bollocks cos ITS DECEMBER and i aint a total maniac but went out to the club with joey and the boys and it was ace but bit weird cos the last time i was surounded by that many guys who werent drag queens i was getting beat up by them in school, i only ever hang out with girls usualy XD then omg sashas do, i cant even talk about it, as if words exist for that much amazing at once <3 i think it should be show tunes karaoke every night (whats a fire and why does it, whats the word, burrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn) as long as jones dont sing no more cos jfc!!! XD i am well excited about this wedding now guys, like i swear even more than christmas *_* I LOVE YOU <3

so anyway me and Lindsay got this little bet going..... 3 laps at chobham in lamborghinis or porsches or whatever and loser does a forfeit. this is almost life and death so i aint actualy booked it yet cos i want some suporters please. PLACE YOUR BETS. choose your side!!! team Lindsay or team Pip. think about it carefully, theres only one option tbh aint there, like your going to trust an old uni teacher with a greying beard and brown cardigans to drive better tahn a 24 year old whose got a ferrari and a porsche and use to have a lotus elise. TEAM PIP!!! you bitches better come and cheer me on in pink ladies jackets or else x

in other news

there is so fuckin much i could be doing with my time like actualy finishing the xmas presents i still aint done and wrapped

but someone on fb linked me to this amazing site so i done this instead

this is Lindsay dancing hip hop http://host-d.oddcast.com/elfyourself2012/?mId=47145853.2

this is Lindsay dancing charleston http://host-d.oddcast.com/elfyourself2012/?mId=47146387.3

this is Lindsay dancing soul http://host-d.oddcast.com/elfyourself2012/?mId=47145454.3

your welcome :D

also starring me dajve sasha and REBECCA LMAO but yeah, mostly if you want to see Lindsay doing hip hop dancing with a sexy look on his face then happy christmas from me to you :D
8th-Dec-2012 07:21 am - BORED
not sulking
god i'm bored. it aint even haf 7 yet. -_-
7th-Dec-2012 11:18 am - STILL ALIVE
princess corset
despite mr browns scaremongering it seems like the world didnt end so screw them gregorians and there calendars :P speaking of calendars we done a photo shoot a while ago for the princess charity calendar and our copies just arrived this week and its AMAZING hahahahah. it aint naked or nothing, its basicaly rip off elvgren but everyones got massive feet lmao, i was going to be in march cos of my birthday then i bagsied august instead so for the whole of Lindsays birthday month he can be reminded about how amazingly rich and beautiful his life is since he exploded out the closet like a cat on fire (because obvs its going pride of place in our kitchen :P) if you want one they should be on the princess website sometime soon, its like 20 quid but its a good cause so everyone buy one and just scribble my face out with sharpie if its weird havign me in a dress on your wall :P its horrible though, i look dead nice in the pic but they must of photoshopped the fuck out of it cos there aint no way i can look that good no more when i dress up, i just look like a sad old try hard bastard -_- probably time to retire from that as well which sucks but if i cant be good at somethign i dont want to do it at all. specially since seeing all them beautiful YOUNG ones at miss drag uk last week, the show was brill and there actualy werent that much bitching or sabotage exept when the tech rehearsal got evacuated cos someone set someones spare wig on fire lmfao, i wasnt there for that but i wish i was cos i bet the cat fight was like the apocalypse. the actual show was good though, the winner looked like that bollywood woman off celeb big brother that year jade goody make a twat of herself *_* and the runner ups a regular at princess so dead chuffed about that, also jealous cos tess dont love me best no more but mostly pleased :P

anyway drag overload!!! so i been letting my face fur grow and just wearing slobby old clothes all week, i got my old tabby leggings on where the bums dead saggy cos the elastics gone and my vote dougie tshirt and one of Lindsays gross old man cardis, i dont even care this week i look like a state i just cant be arsed dolling up when i aint leaving the house. i did just have a bubble bath though *_* because i got TIME for that shit now it aint like a 20 second shower tryign to brush my teeth at the same time cos its 6am and i am already late. haha i look horrible with face stubble, it itches less tahn leg stubble though -_-

the flood shit all went down ok with no real problems but its FREEZINNGGG now, like actualy freezing. a bird tried to walk ont he frozen river the other day and he fell through lmfao it must of not been frozen very much cos he cant of weighed anything realy. i know it aint actualy funny, it was quite funny though and its ok to laugh cos he flew away

god my life is boring these days!!!!!!! i love it :D

whose having a xmas or ny party?? someone should do something, i want to volunteer here cos there aint no neighbours to annoy with loud music but better check with Lindsay first cos you know what he gets like about peoples feet on his carpets
27th-Nov-2012 07:52 am(no subject)
gross!!

:| normal service asap but our rivers flooded and the gardens basically a swamp, there's a bit of water in the cellar so gonna call a guy out with a pump or idk do whatever else your meant to do when this happens, other wise the house ain't damaged so cross fingers it don't get no worse. FML!!! this don't happen when your living in a London penthouse!!

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY MITCH I got you a thing but obvs everything's been mental so not sure now when I will be back in town -_-

Could be worse though, some people down the river there stables got so water logged they collapsed!!! But the horses are ok, just being fostered out for a bit with anyone whose got room, sadly not us :( I want s horse, I swear I won't make it wear a cornetto on its head or nothing

Anyway hope everyone else is ok!!! Idk how bad it is everywhere else, it ain't THAT bad here not compared to some of the shit on the news, we are just dead close to the river on really low land -_-

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

20th-Nov-2012 11:04 pm(no subject)
Lindsay is shy :P
every time we get a letter at home adressed to dr brown and mr valentine it makes my face go all :D so chuffed for him seriosly, i know i bang on about it but i just been thinking about it loads. like how he was happy in france when we lived there but he moved to london so i could finish at uni even though he never liked it there and now i just gone and gave it all up anyway so i can sit about doign nothing which is basicaly why i hated france. so idk just i am dead glad it all worked out and he ended up doing something so cool :)

the organisers of the miss drag uk thing i signed up for the judgeing panel randomly increased my pay by like 4 thousand since i said i was cutting way back on public shit?? which yeah dead nice of them and everything but they didnt have to, obvs i am still doing whatever i signed up for cos i dont want to get sued and like i am missing something like that anyway, i woul pay to be there if i werent already being paid!!! anyway yeah so thats nice cos tess wants a proper refurb at princess so i can put my whole fee towards that cos it means i might get a say :P LIGHT UP DANCE FLOOR PLEASE like in billie jean. the shows in like a week and a half, i dont know if they expect me to dress up or what or if i am just meant to be there cos i am/was semi famous. i was gonna get rebecca to contact them for me and find out just cos i know how much she loves it when i make her talk about drag queens but she aint realy my slave no more, she has got proper important stuff to do now. i might hire another assisstant now but someone who dont boss me about like a worm :P i want to hire a cleaner as well cos Lindsay can fuck off if he thinks me being a housewife means i dont mind doing all the hoovering cos i do, some immigrant can do it instead thank you. i aint making too much mess being here all the time. i stunk the kitchen out a bit cos i was tryign to teach myself beef wellington and it burnt -_- but it werent so bad when i opened the windows. i done a baked alaska and it was GENIUS, it turned out properly good and Lindsay was like how can you make nice merangue on your first go but you cant even do scrambled eggs without ruining the pan. idk beginners luck or something :P

i been making lots of lace this year i randomly just realised. i was going through some things the other week for charity auction at my old college cos they done it for children in need and i found all this crap i made just dumped in cupboards and drawers in the spare room

boys knit tooCollapse )

i never gave them away though, i felt quite attached XD anyway Lovecattt claimed the pink one to sleep on so its knackered anyway, he alrady managed to get a little bit of poo on it!! thats baby merino, you cant just put it in the washing machine, you have to wash it by hand D: another reason why i want a cleaner haha

ummm rambling now. lmao months of hardly anything and here i am posting everyday, sorry if your getting sick of me :P
19th-Nov-2012 10:12 pm(no subject)
possessive
sasha and dajve my favourite ladies in the world



hahahahah please dont ever meld your faces you look like a catalogue model from the 90s :P

omfg someone take my computer awayCollapse )

lmao maybe i should of stayed busy, i just waste my time on bullshit when i got loads of it spare XD

its funny though, i was in london most of the day for fun not work and i got on the train home and it was like for the first time ever i werent feeling all stressy cos i was leaving loads of unfinished shit behind, i was just like ok i had a nice day and now i am going HOME to Lindsay with a box of macaroons and a bottle of posh bastards wine what tastes like pet piss and i dont have to think about nothign except a bit of painting and a bit of sewing whenevr i feel like it, no more leavign the house at 6am to beat the traffic and no more staying in town on my own in that massive empty place where i dont even get back in time for dirty phone calls. people keep telling me i am going to regret doing this but RIGHT NOW it feels like the best idea ever so they can all fuck off and tell it to rebecca instead :P its probably bad i cant stop thinkign about opening a shop in cambridge now though -_- NO PIP DONT DO IT!!!! work stuff stays at least an hours drive away from home, thats the new rule. it just seems a shame i cant take advantage of all them rich uni girls wanting party dresses thats all.

i bought Lovecattt a little santa suit today, he is going to scratch my face off :D
18th-Nov-2012 01:43 pm - I AM BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY
Lindsay is shy :P
LMFAO after all the excitement these last few days of sorting out work and seeign sasha and everything i werent planning to do nothing today except sit around the house in my pants cos i can, but then someone linked this site on facebook and when i did some stuff on it i laughed so hard i think i ruptured some organs so now i realy CANT do anything cos i am in actual pain

SCARY SHITCollapse )
15th-Nov-2012 10:29 pm - a quiet life
lollipop
well everything kind of went to shit.. sorry i aint been round in FOREVER, i know what a crappy useless mate i am sometimes :/ but i was actualy going out my mind and i had to sort this thing out before i drowned myself in the river -_-

basicaly i just been having a dead rough time at work, yasmin my shop manager was off for like a decade and i thought she was skiving but turns out she had actual neumonia (i know theres a p in taht word somewhere but fuck it you know what i mean) like a pensioner so now i feel bad for having a go haha, she is doing better now though <3 then someone else who worked for me werent doing a proper job of it an kept spacign out and showing up late and not loking after customers properly and basicaly just taking the piss so she aint working there no more cos theres like a billion other people what dont think your askign too much of a PART TIME WORKER to SHOW UP ON TIME and all that. anyway i aint ranting no more, its done and good riddence. i aint working my arse off to give other people a free ride thanks very much, i was making myself sick in the head taking everythign on and trying to cover the donkey work as well as my actual work and promo and meetings and shit, there was like 3 days in a row i didnt get out my studio til like after 2am and was back in it by 7 to finish stuff off before meetings at 9 -_- you aint suposed to live like that, i aint scared of hard work or nothing like when i was a teenager i had 3 jobs on the go at once as well as school/college cos i wanted to make my own money not scrounge it all off my mum an dad, i can work like a machine when i need to but it was just gettign stupid and then this total prick i was doing a shit load of commissions for never bothered turning up to pay and collect ?! like weeks and thousands of £ worth of work down the toilet, thanks very much you little fuckin arsehole. and everything just kept goign wrong and it ended up with me bawling like a fuckin toddler on the floor in my studio cos i was knackered. and rebecca sat down with me and she was like you know this is about the 9th time i come in on a mornig and found you ready to hang yourself off the beams already even though the day aint barely started yet and she made me close the shop for the day which the agency cover people didnt like but tough shit they still got paid so idk why they was complaining and she took me out for proper breakfast and insulted me about my eye bags and xylaphone ribs and said is it worth doing something you love if it makes you miserable?? and i said no. because its not.

so we been sloggign through a fuck ton of meetings with loads of annoyed people to iron all this out and theres going to be a major shake up with the company. exclusive news here, we are suposed to write a press statment and stuff but aint had time to properly sit and go through what we want to say yet. basicaly making rebecca managing director which ok is pretty much what she was anyway but now its official, employing a whole fuckin army to delegate stuff to, expaning the factory x5 and taking on more workers to make more off the rack stuff for the london and edinburgh shops and the concesions cos we just signed a deal for harvey nicks worldwide not just london and manc like we had before :) and i am still in charge design wise but from now on i aint havign nothing to do with the shops or doing personal stuff for people unless its vvvvvvvvips, like you better be beyonce or god if you want me to hand make you a dress from now on (or a mate <3) and i aint kissing arse no more at all them soulless parties or doing loads of press shit. i thought i wanted to be famous, it was meant to be fun, but it aint been fun for ages now and i dont see the point of doing all this shit 20 hours a day being fuckin miserable when i COULD be at home always within 30 mins of Lindsay making stuff and drawing stuff when i feel like it not cos people are screaming for it. everyone keeps saying its proffessional suicide and i am ruining my chance but its better than actual litteral suicide which is where i would of ended up if it kept on much longer -_-

so yeah thats whats happening. its scary cos yeah i know i fucked this up and running away from it aint going to fix nothign or make people (or me) change there minds about me being a useless cunt what cant ever finish nothign i start, and yeah its sad too cos when it was going right it was ace. i just dont want to do it no more, i know i am dead lucky cos i dont HAVE to do shit i dont want to do. gonna be a cambridge housewife for a bit i think and see how that goes.

rebeccas amazing btw, i know i slag her off all the time cos she looks like roz from monsters inc but she is dead nice realy and i shouldnt be so horrible about her cos like it even matters she aint a barbie doll, there aint nobody in the world i trust more tahn her to look after my work. i wish she was my mum, she feels like it sometimes but blah blah obvs i aint telling her that cos she has got a son anyway and it would be well weird XD she looks after me though, its nice. she is going to be ace at this job i know she is and anyone bitching at her in the fashion press can fuckin answer to me and my beefcake boyfriend :P

theres been nice stuff happening as well, Lindsays graduation :) i wish being smart was transmitted like syphillis cos i would be einstein by now haha ;) he looked so handsome omg, me and his mum was about busting with pride <3 and party season and stuff, sorry i never stayed taht long at anything but i was mid nervous breakdown, glad i finally got to see jones in a frock though that well cheered me up :P loving movember as well!!! i aint growing a tash cos i think Lindsay might dump me if he had to wake up next to magnum pi every morning but i been growing out my sideys again like this av, proper elvis vibe going on :P just need a jumpsuit and cape now and massive aviators, would have to pad out though cos i lose weight when i get miserable so i got sticky out hip bones again now and look like i got cancer or somethign -_-

ummmm have i got anything else to say?? i feel like i have but i cant think so it probably aint imporant. i got all this free time now, let me know if you want to catch up or do christmas shopping or something cos i miss everyone x
17th-Oct-2012 09:47 pm(no subject)
pen tash!!!
i actualy cant take this no more, i wish i was dead. rebeccas off sick now as well :/ everythings going wrong. i had to make her go home today cos she was struggling through (cos she actualy gives a shit about her job unlike some people) she says she is going to dose up on flu drugs and be back in for 9 tommorrow so she can do yasmins shift at least til junes here in the afternoon but she realy aint well and i dont want her hacking and snotting up all over everyone so i told her shes fired if i see her, i kind of hope she still comes in tbh because i am a selfish cunt like that and i litrally cant do this on my own, i got a bank meeting and i dont want to go cos they all look down at me like i'm made out of shit but you know what rebeccas like, she has NEVER took a sick day ever so she must be just about dying to agree to go home :/ i dont want to do this no more i hate it. other stuff as well, just everythings piling on. not sure what it says about my mental state i had the tv on in my studio working late the other night and mcfly were on alan carr and i just sat down on the floor bawling like a prick cos i love them so much and dougie was talking about when he tried to kill himself and i was like I KNOW THOSE FEELS sitting on my own at half ten at night in the dark and the pissign cold doing shit i cant get done in the day cos everyones got the plague or dont give a fuck no more. rebeccas like just stop panicking and let me get some temp people in for the shop while your so swamped which ok would make sense but if people DID THERE JOB or stopped acting on like having a colds like having cancer (yasmins such a drama queen i swear to god even worse tahn when Lindsay gets sick) then i wouldnt need to
7th-Oct-2012 08:28 am(no subject)
spin
well yasmins off work sick with man flu or something which is GREAT, like i got time to show some temp bint around. usualy i would get rebecca to do it but i had to send her to paris for fashion week to basicaly RUN MY LIFE cos i aint got time to go and draked out, its kind of funny actualy what people think of her cos when she first staretd working for me everyone was like lmfao whose that fat old lesbian bossing valentine about but after a couple of years now everyone can see shes amazing and 2 people have tried to poach her off me but she wont tell me who, i need to get her drunk or something cos i wanna know whose place i have to burn down. MY REBECCA, BACK OFF. i sent her off with a shit load of nice new clothes and stern instructions to wear heels and next thing i know there she is getting profiled in some style magazine as "woman of the month" lmao like there tryign to sound all supportive about fat old people instead of twiglet barbies. well that aint fair realy, she looks dead nice when she dolls up a bit. but yeah that dont stop her being fat and old. she aint even a lesbian she just wears lesbian shoes. she is ace though, my whole thing would of folded ages ego without her. i just wish EVERYONE ELSE would pull there weight as much, thats all i will say. things have gone to shit here, i aint got time for everyones whining and i defanitely aint got time to stand there and work on the tills like some useless teenage mong when people cant be arsed to get here on time, i got shit to do and it just aint been getting done. i am well behind schedule, i shouldnt even be here today cos me and Lindsay were gonna go off on his bike for the day but i cant afford no time off i just got so much to catch up on. i hate my job, i might just shut everything down and live off my sugar daddy like before cos this aint worth the headaches.
25th-Sep-2012 02:37 pm - Omg
knees up

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

omgCollapse )

16th-Sep-2012 09:31 pm(no subject)
knees up
can i just say i fuckin LOVE this woman



i want to be a disgraceful old hag as well when i am her age, just dont give a fuck and be fabulous *_*

my heads spinning a bit, show days always crazy insane cos i been so so busy for ages with normal work and gettign ready for this as well and now this weekend is actualy here its like ZOOM the whole day yesterday was like 5 seconds long and i cant even remember none of what happened but i think it went ok?? its nice junes parents were there to see what she gets up to and thank you everyone else who could make it <3 especialy Lindsay cos i know it aint his scene, i wouldnt come to none of his lectures with such good grace :P so that just proves what a total star he is x

quick scan my fave pic from the photo editorial matthew todd done me in attitude this issue for my menswear cos it dont get enough attention, everyones just intrested in dresses hereCollapse )

anyway just wanted to come on quick and say sorry for being a nerotic retard all the time!! i feel like i should be sayign nice things about everyone elses amazing stuff i seen but since there technicaly the enemy i dont think i will :P on my way out now for some schmoozy horrible party which tbh i aint in the mood for cos partying aint no fun if its for work. i just want to get my pjs on and crash -_-
lollipop
everythings a bit mental right now and its stressing me out D: i seen dajve and sasha last week which is like a BLUE MOON gettign us all in the same place at the same time so that was ace <3 i wish i happened more but idk you just have to deal with it, get time with your mates OR be famous, make a choice. at least you make sure its quality time when you get it right?? not just like sitting in someones living room eating crisps and watching eastenders and not even talking much cos you know you can see them any time, its all different now

word vom about workCollapse )

tryign to go home at sensible times now and not stress myself out too much but its impossible, if i go home now i will just lie awake all night thinking of 10000000000 things i need to do which tbh i DONT need to do realy, i am just nurotic. all my show gear is done. no more commissions to start til after fashion week. i dont NEED to be here, i just cant settle if i leave. i feel like i aint seen Lindsay in about 7 years :/ and its stupid, it dont have to be like this. i am just a total mental, i shouldnt be alowed responsabilities cos obviously my stupid brain aint up for the challenge. everybody going to fuckin HATE this i know they will, i just want to cancel the show all together and close the shop and go and jump out a high window
27th-Aug-2012 10:04 pm(no subject)
hammer time
ok normaly i like period dramas for costumes but dont give a fuck about the rest of it but omfg that new jane eyre film is better than porn



so much top hat and rumpled shirt *_* i am SO READY for that all to come back in fashion cos Lindsay needs to dress like mr rochester. NEEDS TO. i promised ages ago i was goign to stop nagging him about his shit old man clothes and i (mostly) have (exept on special occasions) but i think its about time to go through his wardrobe, build a bonfire, then just sit in a room on my own and make him frock coats forever. you cant honestly say thats a bad idea. its a brilliant idea.

so yeah i have got proper stuff to say but i cant remember none of it cos stern fassbender just made me jizz out all my life force and now i am just this weak little husk. uneventful weekend realy, just been hanging out at home most of the time looking after tiny tim and i went to the farmers market on my own dead early yesterday and bought freaky weird looking food like celeriacs just cos they looked funny and Lindsay made celeraics soup which was rank, no offence. i got a siamese carrot shaped like a naked man as well, its on the kitchen window sill like an ornament. swear to god its like a naked man!!!



??! how could i NOT buy that?? i was tryign to be helpful and get the shopping like a responsable adult while Lindsays still tottering round like a pensioner with a walking stick but it just turned into find all the dick shaped veg. i got some ace ones, none as good as that carrot though. i still think someones made it out of plastic for a laugh but i dont want to cut into it and check and ruin it!!! i stood him in the garden for a photo shoot, i kind of want to mutilate a barbie doll and super glue her top half to the carrot legs and take some pics and post them online like the cottingley fairies and swear blind its a true thing what i found in my garden. noooooot sure people are that stupid though.

pissing down rain again as usual on bank holiday's, i bet its sunny tommorrow when i go back to work :( its nice being stuck indoors with Lindsay though, he is still quite entertaining even when he's a cripple >:)
25th-Aug-2012 11:28 am(no subject)
knees up
i got so fffffing much work to do but i made this promise to myself no more working over holidays and its BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND even though its just going to piss down all three days so the plan is......... idk. i could of gone and done fun stuff but tbh i just cannot be arsed leaving the house, last week was shit and mental and i worked like 27 hours a day so now i feel like i just want to catch up on sleep -_- idk when i started likeing sleeping more tahn partying, i must of grown up :( 24 and already past it, thats what happens when you live with someone like twice your age :P i just want to stay in my pjs all weekend and play mario and look after the old cripple, i probably should clear up my junk room as well cos its STILL a mess and we moved most of our stuff out here i cant even remember how long ago. i am going to do a charity sale i think of loads of my old dresses cos they dont fit me no more and i cant wear the same things twice to big events anyway cos tess will look at me like i come out a dogs bum and she just trod on me. gonna sort out my paints and stuff, i aint painted in AGES so half the tubes are all grim and crusty D: and i started sorting out my records now i got a new player what actualy works, i dropped my old one when we moved :( jones mate i think this ones yours

22nd-Aug-2012 10:26 am - Go straight to hell boys
gross!!

Me and Lindsay could of gave joe strummer the best joint birthday present ever yesterday but I was working late and Lindsay's a fuckin prude so I never even suggested it :P been listening to the clash all week in the shop/studio and yesterday this total scrote was in with his gf and I seen he was wrinkling his face up like he weren't happy about something so I was a bit offended tbh cos I was fitting a £7000 dress on his gf and I ain't being modest about it, it's well worth that money. So I was like o.O you got a problem mate and he says whose this prick changing m.i.a.s lyrics so I told him to get out then his gf had a fit and stropped off after him and I lost the sale AND now I got this mostly finished custom fit dress idk what to do with, if your a size 12 with massive fake tits and a flat arse like a 10 year old boy your welcome to it cos there can't be many people in the world shaped like that.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

19th-Aug-2012 10:50 pm(no subject)
knees up
i been meaning to post about edinburgh but between my trip there and all them arseholes writing lies about sasha in the papers i been in such a shit mood i aint felt like it!!! but i been playing darts with stephen fry in the pub tonight which is weird as fuck cos he was randomly there and i was like OMG STEPHEN FRY not wantign to say nothing and make an arse of my self not using long words and shit when he is actualy the cleverest man alive but he knew who i was and come over to say hi to ME o.O so yeah better mood now :P i dont normaly get recognised in public on dress down nights especialy not in cambs!!! i spose this means i am famous ;) well also i got a big thing in the current attitude AND todays sunday times style mag so my face is gettign flashed round a bit lately which is nice



i was telling him my amazing joke when that pic was took i think: how many mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?? just juan. he laughed politely cos he is a gent, Lindsay just put his head in his hands and sighed lmao

anyway edinburgh was ace AT FIRST except my staff what rebecca hired are called kate and amy which i dont think is nearly scottish enough so i am going to call them morag and flora instead. they are dead nice and it all seems like its going realy well, i aint realy had time to pay atention to the place but they are looking after it fine. its quite small but its a reallly good location and a dead nice little building, it could be busier but considering it aint even been open taht long i think its doing ok. i need to promote it a bit more, i should get rebecca to blag me some invites for parties and stuff up there or get me some interviews. that is if i ever ever talk to her again, crazy fuckin troll!!!!! she made me and yasmin and june go on some bullshit team building exercise at loch ness with all these other total randoms from other companys!!! loch ness btw is fuckin MILES from edinburgh, we was stuck on the bus with these strangers for hours THEN we had to read maps and build fires and shit!?!? OBVS i could of just flounced off but i didnt want to show my self up in front of all them people cos none of them seemed to think it was a shit idea althoughto be fair they probably KNEW THEY WERE DOING IT and i never :| swear to god that woman better start lookign for a new job right now, she is lucky i never drowened her in the lake!!! total waste of a day omg and i was so miserable by like 2 hours in i rung up 118 to find me a helicopter company which i had to CLIMB A TREE cos the signal was rubbish!!! so while all them sad sacks got bussed back to wherever the fuck they needed to go at least we got picked up in style and flown back to civilisation. my accountant will have a fit cos i spend too much money on luxuries but tough shit, like i want to sit on an old bus for hours with strangers doing poos 2 metres away from me even though the toilet door dont shut properly

so yeah nice to see the shop and hang out with my girls but jfc rebecca is ACTUALY insane, i dont know why she hates me so much but she just likes seeing me miserable. oh well i know she is just jealous cos she goes home to solitude and misery and i go home to this

hhnghCollapse )

i dont know why he looks so miserable every time i point a camera at him, tryign to get a smile out of that man is like squeezing blood out a stone!!! anyway logging off now cos LOOK AT THAT HAIR, i need to go and ruffle it in person. gonna be in london every day next week cos i got a lot of commission work on and some boring bullshit finance meetings i might try and get out of so drop in and say hi if your free or lets go and get breakfast or lunch time cocktails or something x
13th-Aug-2012 10:55 am - Flower of scoooooooootlaaaaand
f f f fashion!

Swear to god!!!! It would of been less hassle buying a jumbo jet and learning to fly it my self!!! All the wee breaks and food breaks and drink breaks and omg pip lets go to lindisfarne breaks (which we never cos I made that mistake before driving over there and getting stuck on the island when the tide come in over the causeway XD) we should of been there hours ago, we left in the middle of the night!! I never even got changed our of my princess costume til about Newcastle hahah when there was a services I thought I might not get murdered in :P properly undercover now!!! We are going to get a proper brekkie when we get there then go and spy on my staff and make sure there pulling there weight ;)

Comedy souvenirs for everyone!!! Lindsay omg your going so look so fit in a kilt and knee socks....... :D

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

10th-Aug-2012 08:33 pm - HAHAHA
LOL
http://www.cracked.com/blog/15-real-sex-toys-that-will-give-you-nightmares

click if you dare

they wont give you nightmares tho, most of them are just funny!!

the weather is horrible today, i am actualy dying of heat stroke D: going to skinny dip in our bit of river now......
10th-Aug-2012 08:58 am - Technology makes you look clever
princess corset

Haha normaly when I post I can't be arsed with the shift key and apostrophes and shit cos normaly I am on my laptop, I type faster on a proper keyboard. iPhone posting makes me look well smarter though, it auto corrects all my shitty spellings and changes dont into don't :P which actually I DO know how to do cos believe it or not I went to school for 16 years like everyone else, I am just lazy

Anyway I got shit loads of work on today :( plus I have to meet Rebecca's son and his gf cos there looking after the ago next week when me and the girls go up to Scotland for a couple of days to see how the other place is going, I think it's all going really well so that's cool :D taking over the world!!! Ummm just very slowly

2 cool things

1) Olympics night at princess on Sunday if anyone wants guest list, gonna be a low key ish one I think with the thing on big screens but then disco after so we can still get our dancing in :P you don't have to dress up or nothing if you don't want but I can help if you do ;)

2) kind of related, since I am like z list famous now and there ain't that many of us what don't care who knows we sometimes wear dresses I been asked on the judging panel for Miss Drag GB..... LMFAO Rebecca is LIVID and keeps saying no way but fuck it I never get asked my opinion on nothing!!! And if there's 1 thing I know well enough to judge its guys in dresses, I been making costumes for tess since I was 16!!!

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

8th-Aug-2012 09:19 pm(no subject)
haha Lindsay :D
BOOOOOOO its ages since i posted!!!! loads been happening, i met vince and howward when they come to my shop ummm i cant even remember when, it feels like ages but realy only like the other week. there aint that many people what can wear feather boas and not look like there on a hen do, vince even made the crazy shit look good so well pleased about that, at least it looks good on SOMEONE :P

then OH GLORY me and Lindsay flew out to dubai to meet up with sasha and the boys and it was amazing *_* i mean OBVS amazing to see everyone but also lmao that place is ACTUALY insane. robot dinosaurs??? 90ft high vertical water slides?? it was genius, i well want to go back exept i am such a whiny little girl about hot weather and jfc it nearly killed me which I KNOW is my own fault for wanting to go on the beach where theres no nice air conditioning. btw if you see me walking round like fuckin bono wearing sunglasses indoors like a massive prick its cos i have got tan lines on my face IN THE SHAPE OF SUNGLASSES hahahahaha which half the time i dont care about but sometimes i just dont want to look like i got some kind of skin pigment disease thanks

Lindsays birthday was yesterday, i got him a real doll shaped like joe strummer which has been making me lol for like 4 months since i ordered it but i dont think he was that impressed. oh well i can just use it to fit clothes to then if he dont want to use it for it's purpose :P i got him other stuff too, i made him a new suit and done a couple of paintings (one was his kings college in cambs but kind of looks a bit like church at auvers by accident with the weird pespectives but yellows and poo browns and some green instead of blue cos its so nice out there when the sunset hits that massive window, and the other week i done one dead quick in water colours what i use for my dress designs when he fell asleep in the living room snuggling lovecattt on his chest cos omg HEART PANGS ♥) so hopefuly he liked some of it :/ i am so shit at pressies, his are always so amazing and like ~thoughtful~ and stuff but i never know what to do so its just like...... here have all this shit i made

so crazy busy atm, i want another holiday D:
29th-Jul-2012 11:34 pm - [PRIVATE]
sadface in car :(
its going to be mine and Lindsays 5 year anniversary in a couple of weeks but cant realy shout about it out loud to that many people :/ and it SUCKS cos everyone else gets to hear all like ohh congrats your getting married and oh nice one guys you been together a year now and all that stuff, 5 YEARS is nearly 1/5 of my whole life and its like it dont even matter cos its a secret

whiny whiny whine selfish cunt pip. ok we can have our pretend 5 year aniversary but thats like months after the real one so its just going to feel weird and fake
29th-Jul-2012 11:30 pm(no subject)
me and lindsay = srs bsns
i dont care what nobody says, rowan atkinson is an aCTUAL genius :DD the chariots of fire thing was shit but omg i just love his face so much, he just needs to make that bored face or the panic face and straight away its funnier than anything else ever in the world <3 the olympics thing was ACE, the queen was all dolled up!!!! i HAVE to keep on sucking up to eugenie and get a meeting with her, she is so old now time is limited!! i will even do pastels I DON'T CARE or not even do anythign at all, i just want to meet her. maybe i can pretend to be eugenies boyfriend lmao and get in to some party. whatever IT WILL HAPPEN, if i done clothes for eugenie and wills thats got to prove i aint just some creepy stalker loser, obvs i AM that but i would also be meeting her for a reason not just to sniff her neck or nothing. WATCH THIS SPACE.

so yeah i am acidentally well into the olympics now after i bitched and moaned for years with everyone else!! hnngh MENS GYMNASTICS, i think Lindsay needs to start doing press ups or something cos he has got major bingo wings compared to them beefcakes *_* i dont even LIKE muscles not realy, but OOF toned up arms....... yum yum

gonna be working like a mentalist this week cos we are off to see sasha and the boys next weekend in dubai!!! i never been there before but everyone keeps warning me about the heat cos i am a massive wuss so bit aprehensive D: its going to be brill though, cannot wait to see my lady love <3 and Lindsay is just about weeing his pants i think but in that stoic kind of way where the wee runs down but he dont make a face so you cant actualy tell he is looking forward to it unless you know him realy well ;)

someone on fb posted this vid and now i feel quite straight, i never felt this straight since my weird marina blip ages ago



obvs he is fit but i aint even going to start on that, idk who that woman is but i would have sex with her if she offered o.O so watch out straight and bi guys among you and get the ice packs ready cos if she has turned ME you might actualy jizz yourself inside out. i shouldnt watch stuff like this haha it just depresses me cos i am gettign OLD now :/ like at princess cos i started going there when i was like 16 my gimmick was i actualy looked like a proper girl and i could go out in the street in the normal day light and pass no problem. but now its getting more and more like panto dame and its shit, i dont even want to dress up no more cos i just look stupid. so yeah THANKS VERY MUCH ANONYMOUS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN for ruining my life (please have my baby)

can anyone look after Lovecattt for us while we are away?? he is potty trained and dont scratch the furniture but if your worried you can stay in our apt in London with him if you want, if not we can leave him with the old biddy neighbours here in cambs but i dont trust that old woman, i think she is a witch so who knows what she will do
25th-Jul-2012 10:56 pm - :(
bum bum
i know normally when i start talking about my arse people are like give it a REST pip cos nobody wants to hear about it and thats fair enough. but this time i am actualy concerned i think i might die :/ i just done a poo so fuckin big i swear to christ something ruptured and i dont just mean in my bum hole, i mean i was like EEEEUUURRRGHHHH tryign to give birth to a rugby ball and it got stuck halfway for like i swear to god 10 minutes and i was like omfg omg its stuck it wont come out but it wont go back in neither like panicing. so i heaved again and tryed to get it out and finaly it come out (3 flushes til that bastard was gone!!! 3!!) but i pushed so hard i think i have broken my brain, i got such a headache now. dont laugh or tell me to shut up talking about my poo cos i think i have broke something in my head cos it hurts so bad. can you die from big poos?? if i die over night from a burst artery in my head or something please tell everyone i died rescuing a baby from a runaway rhino or somethign valiant not from just pooing too big. omg i dont know what i ate but no lie i think i am actualy dying and this aint just me being a drama queen this time, my heads killing me :( shall i go to the hospital?? i am SERIOUS please dont laugh, its worrying me :((( i need to go to sleep but i am scared in case i dont wake up

anyway thats whats happened today, also mark owens wife had a baby and they called it fox o.O
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